Duo's Rat: The Trap
by PinkWhirlWind
Summary: This story takes place before the other Duo's Rat stories and is where Duo lost his voice
1. Default Chapter

Duo's Rat:

The Trap

by Nix Winter

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing. I do spend too much money buying little Deathscythes though.

Notes: I should be writing original. But I just wanted to play tonight. Sometimes my chapters are short. This story takes place before the other two Duo's Rat stories.

Duo hissed as his fingers touched his boot. Even through the leather he could feel the heat, just like he could feel the chill coming from Heero's glare. Okay, so it was, technically, his fault that the door had closed on his ankle. It wasn't like he hadn't been trying damn hard to keep that from happening. He wore the uniform of an oz guard and more than anything he missed his own thicker boots.

The mission had been one of information acquisition and they had very much acquired what they were looking for. What it came down to was that Heero was the perfect soldier and oz needed a few of him. A little bit of titanium reenforcement on the skeletal structure, a great deal of brainwashing, and voila! Even oz could take a handful of genetically similar kids and make them Heero. At least that was the idea.

Duo thought they were a bit damn stupid, as if it took oz another ten years to lose he'd be twenty-seven and he'd be ready to by pass nice military targets and just assassinate their asses. The pain he knew he'd feel eventually in his ankle made the rest of the world look rather sour. They had already sent the information on the shuttle containing the selected kids to Wufei. It was his and Trowa's job to reacquire the kids, get them somewhere safe.

All he and Heero had to do was get their aces off this station.

Trowa frowned at the data coming back from the shuttle bull's eyed by the data Heero and Duo had sent. Silence from Shenlong's energy signature told him Wufei the same thing. It looked like a transport, just a simple troop carrier. It flew heavy, too much radiation shielding. It wasn't possible to know how many lives were on the shuttle, but Trowa had the deep feeling that it was a trap, just a nasty little rat maze. That only made the silence from Heero and Duo more concerning. Shenlong withdrew first, fading back from the scene of a battle that wasn't in their favor.

There was the option of taking the shuttle on by himself, but Trowa hesitated still. A text based messed came across his main screen then, 'High density explosives. Designed self destruct. Withdrawing. W.'

They each had their specialties. Wufei understood self destructing. Trowa retreated as well, sending a silent prayer for their friends.

Every rat trap needs it's bait, and someone must have known both Heero and Duo pretty well to have set this one.

Heero could not believe the idiot had gotten his ankle broken. The mistake was infuriating. And the longer they were trapped there in that storage room, waiting for Heero's worm to tell them when a ship met the right criteria to be easier to steal, the more confused Heero got.

Duo hadn't really done anything to give them away, even though Heero knew he was in pain. And deep under this soldier mode, Heero knew he would be surprised if Duo did anything to put them at risk. They'd been running, moving from the first planned hiding spot to this one, staying just far enough a head of the rounds the guards were making to be invisible. It wasn't that Duo was slow, though he wasn't as fast as Heero.

Sealing the hall door had been Heero's plan and they'd been forty seconds behind schedule. Heero had made the control panel and set the door to seal. Duo had been on his feet then and when he's fallen Heero's world had stopped, his feelings for Duo chiming out like some obscene violet coocoo bird. Time was up. It was worse than the little girl with the puppy. Killing Duo felt like he'd killed himself and really, that had not mattered in his own memory. Death wasn't something to be avoided, just something to be gotten to as slowly as possible.

"Don't look at me like that," Duo said, drawing Heero back to the present.

"Like what?" Heero really wanted to know, his voice soft and gentle.

Duo turned away, stray hair clinging to his face.

Heero wished he'd never told Duo to shut up, not even once. Duo's words had faded back slowly, until now it took a couple of questions to get something out of him. Heero wished he knew where his own words had gone. Somewhere, sometime, he must have had words that were simple ordinary words to ask someone out for dinner or simple words to ask someone if maybe you could sit by them. "Is it broken?"

"I can walk," Duo said, defensive, voice a little strained.

Heero had no doubt that Duo could walk. Duo could have lost the foot in the door and have nothing but a stump and Heero would still believe Duo could walk. There was no one in the world he respected more, though he wished he'd see Duo smile more. "I'm sorry."

"What for?" It was Duo's turn to turn back around, to look for an answer.

"I shut the door too soon," Heero said, but what he meant was anything that had ever diminished or inhibited Duo.

"Not a problem."

It had to have been night when Heero's worm gave them a signal. It was a clean escape from there. Shuttle bay 8, fully fueled, and all they had to do was drop off and fly away home. They'd even get away with some useful parts to cannibalize. They even made it half way before the dart hit Duo.

The dart sank into Duo's neck and his hand flew to it. Before his fingers had even found it, the bay was spinning, dark around the edges. 'Go Heero!' he thought, willing his dark haired friend forward, on into the shuttle. Duo was behind anyway, the possible crack or strain, or whatever in his ankle screaming louder with every step. Heero. God would have to forgive, Duo decided, staggering forward towards the ramp to the shuttle still, refusing to give up until Heero closed the ramp. God would have to forgive because he really loved Heero. The drug rose around his thoughts, pulling them down, and he admitted to himself that he loved Heero. He would die this time, if someone had to, so that Heero could make it out. Heero had the most beautiful eyes. Heero had smiled at him once, and he remembered that now, as his knees gave, sending him towards the ground.

He never hit. Heero caught him, pulling him close, even as the second dart took Heero's shoulder with an angry bite. Heero held them both there on their feet long after his own mind had lost everything except the darkness and the warmth of Duo's breathing chest against his own.


	2. two

Duo's Rat:

The Trap 2

by Nix Winter

Disclaimer: I still don't own Gundam Wing, but I have a great deal of respect for the original creators.

Notes: I have a book coming out from Venus Press next Wednesday. It's het, but when Jewls grows up he'll be a yaoi boy. Www. venuspress. com And I got interviewed at Road to Romance too, http:www. roadtoromance.ca/spots/spotnixwinter.htm yes, shameless promo, but I have been on the 1x2 list for so long and I know I don't really talk here like I used to. It used to just feel like 'home', like a family here and well, I guess I kinda wanted to share where I was at with the group too. I am really glad this list is here. I guess it still is a home and grounding place for me.

And here is where I'm posting all my fan fic, if you're interested in getting them that way http:groups. /group/nixfics/ so like take out the spaces in all the links, ne?

ND

Two

Heero didn't want the feelings that came with hearing Duo. Duo's voice and words had always reached inside Heero and twisted feelings long repressed by his training. Small sounds, protests against the present, fluttery whimpers, and Heero knew that Duo didn't know he was making those sounds. Training, years of very effecting conditioning, tiled into place over Heero's emotions. First he had to know what he could find out about their environment without alerting their captors to his growing wakefulness. Then he would find a way to get Duo to safety. Emotions were so hard to control when Duo was involved and he hated that, hated the way his mind raced around in circles, recording every sound that Duo made so that revenge could be had, if he wanted to. So much confusion tumbled in on him and he felt his heart rate rise and he couldn't stop it! Which only confused and frightened him more.

Then Duo screamed and Heero's heart rate burst like a buster canon! He was on his feet, fists and body moving into fighting pose. He was unrestrained and there was only he and Duo in the room. Duo was held to the wall, arms out to the sides, leather straps holding at wrists, forearms, elbows, biceps, and then around his waist, and chest, with wires that lead back around him to disappear into a metal wall. A helmet of black metal covered half of Duo's face, hiding his eyes, but not the blood inking red from his nose down around the side of his mouth, to drop down to his bare chest. That chest panted, short and fast, displaying purple bruising that Heero didn't know the source of.

The room held only the sound of Duo's ragged breathing, the small sounds of pain and fear, not even the full out scream remained. All the walls were smooth. All the same, except for the openings for the wires that disappeared behind Duo's shivering body. There was nothing else, not even an opening for a camera.

Heero himself was not restrained in any way. "Duo?"

Duo's fingers curled, tightening in response to Heero's Voice.

"One hand only if you can hear me," Heero whispered.

Duo tightened one hand, and heero realized he'd been holding his breath. Escape was the first mission.

"Heero?"

Duo's voice was fragile, thin and it mad Heero feel old, eel as if Duo were on the edge of still being a child, so fragile and innocent. And that was when his internal diagnostics understood there was a break down coming. "I'm here," Heero said.

Distantly, he wondered why he couldn't spell Duo's blood. Blood had always bothered Heero, always connected back to the shred of his humanity that he had cherished deep within himself. That shard of humanity was his promise to himself that when the war was over, he could find the person he'd been before his training. Internal mental diagnostics decided that Duo's voice and laughter had also gotten linked to that secret cache of humanity. He needed Duo if he were ever to return to being a normal man, he needed Duo.

Then a spasm hit Duo and his body pulled away from the wall, knees bending a little, pulling at leather strap around both of his legs. Bare feet pointed stiffly towards the smooth metal floor. Another scream was building in his chest as air was sucked, fingers like claws. Heero could imagine the pain that made his friend's body move like that, strain, and when the scream tore free from Duo, Heero the soldier was planning the easiest way to break his neck, to free him from the torment their captors had planned for them. Heero the man cried, body temperature tears from a body that demanded a response for the feelings under his programming.

"Heero," Duo wheezed, his whisper still enough to get Heero's complete attention. "Touch me. I feel so lost."

Heero reached out, hand feeling so large, or maybe it was just that he felt so small. To touch for comfort was suddenly frightening. He touched for a mission, to accomplish something. He didn't take missions he couldn't accomplish, and he knew his touch would not cure the pain in Duo's body, not free him from the restraints or monitors, but he touched anyway, his palm laying flat on Duo's taunt belly. "I'll do what you need me to do, Duo."

"Talk to me," the small voice whispered. "I'm a man now, right? I'm not a little kid anymore?"

"No, Duo," Heero said, "You are a man."

"You are a man," Heero repeated, his mind moving away from the feeling that Duo was a child. Duo was heroic, brave, strong, and he had a quality of identity, of self that Heero longed to have. "You and I are prisoners. You are being tortured."

"That sucks, Heero. Just me? Or am I just getting to go first?" Duo said. His words had started out jokingly, but then it turned to fear. "Heero, you're not angry at me? Are you? I mean, I didn't mean to fall and get us caught."

Heero's breakdown came a little closer. "No! Duo, it wasn't your fault. You have to stay strong. I am going to get you down from there."

"Don't," Duo snapped. "Don't touch the wires. Trap."

And then a deeper fear set in for heero. Not the kind of fear that served as warning of guid, but something uncontrollable and toxic. The fear rose ravenous within him. "Duo. I need you."

They stood there for that moment, just feeling the connection between palm and bare belly. "I'm always gonna be hanging around you, you know that? Relena's going to think I want a threesome."

Heero blinked. "I do not want a 'threesome'."

"Yeah," Duo sighed, body sagging into the restraints again, even though there wasn't much of a difference with how tightly he was restrained. "I'm just a fucking idiot. But what if I were a girl?"

"No, I respect you more than any other I've ever known. I would respect you the same if you were a girl. Gender does not imply any useful metric." Suddenly it became very important for Duo to know how he felt, as if his very self might slip away under the coming battle. "Duo, you are the only person I open myself to. You're the only person how is more than just a statistic to me. Do you understand?"

"Hell no," Duo said, trying to turn his head so he could see out from under the helmet covering half his face. "Heero, what's wrong? Heero, you're not fucking shot and I just can't see it, are you?"

Heero heard the sound first and looked up, even as his hand glided up Duo's belly to touch his lips, a caress that came from so deep within him that it by passed his mental censor all together. From above a ten centimeter transparent barrier was decending slowly from the ceiling. "There is a barrier coming down between us. Approximately 10 cm deep it is wide enough to completely separate us. It is close enough to you that you may be able to feel it when it is in place. I will find a way to free you."

"Heero," Duo said, softly, lips moving against Heero's fingers as he spoke, slow, almost as if he were considering kissing them. "There's an orphanage on L2. I've already set up funding for them, but you could visit them for me, 'kay? And I'd like a tree planted there too. A Duo tree."

"Understood," Heero said, but he was already slipping into mission mode, more than maybe he'd ever been and feelings or human needs were far from anything he could process in that moment. Every known property of the material their cell was made up scrolled though his mind as he sorted through looking for a weakness that he could exploit. His physical strength could be unleashed to tear metal apart when he relaxed the controls built into his psyche that made him pass as a normal human. He would simply tear his way to the control center and kill them all. He would abandon all covert operations, the hopes of returning to his humanity.

The barrier sealed between them and a dark mist began filling the narrow chamber that Duo hung in. Time froze for Heero for a moment, watching the cloud like swirls of it roll over Duo's bare feet, then up over the black pants that Duo still wore. Death's pilot could feel it coming, smell it maybe and he struggled frantically at the restraints, head thrashing, and Heero just stood there, no plan formed yet, his mind racing through all possible outcomes, refusing to waste a chance with rash human desperation.

Then a door opened. To the side, a ship with its ramp down, obviously on a launch strip, just sitting there waiting and the mission oriented soldier in him told him to run, to let them miss calculate whatever mind game they were playing. And it occurred to him that their captors could be his very own programming team, punishing him for his feelings and weaknesses over Duo by forcing him to abandon that very weakness as it suffered an agonizing death.

"I will not leave him. If you wish to maintain me as a weapon, you will not kill him."

Absolutely nothing changed. Heero could not hear Duo screaming, but he could watch through the clear barrier.

"Tell me what you want," he spoke to whoever was listening, as it only made sense that the mind game was directed at him, they must want something from him.

A voice, genderless, generic, spoke from at least three different speaker sources in the room. "You will comply to protect his life and sanity?"

"I will comply." Heero said. It was the end of his control, the end of his solder state. "Please don't hurt him." And where Duo had seemed like a child earlier, now Heero became one without even knowing it, just the little child he'd been before he'd become the perfect soldier. "Please don't hurt him. He's my friend."

The smoke was vacuumed from the chamber so rapidly that Heero worried Duo would suffocate, but then the barrier lifted and the restraints released. Duo fell and Heero was on his knees, holding him, pushing the helmet off. Duo was unconscious, head tilted back, dark circles under his eyes, face pale, breath ragged, but he was breathing and Heero clutched him tight, holding the fragile life of his friend so close, rocking slowly back and forth on his knees, fingers brushing through Duo's hair. "I comply! I comply! I comply!"

In a control room, a woman ran her finger down Heero's back on the main monitoring screen. "See? I told you I could do it. The secrets in that boy's mind are going to be worth a fortune."

"War is just so very profitable," the man next to her agreed. If it weren't for people who could tear up a young man's mind like so much scrap metal, there probably wouldn't be war in the first place.


	3. three

Duo's Rat: The Trap 3?

By Nix Winter

Disclaimers: I don't own Gundam Wing. Alas. But maybe that's good, cuz if I did, I'd never play with my own.

Warnings: This was written at home and on the bus, and mostly cuz I was having fun with it. I hope it doesn't bug anyone with it's lameness. And Duo was affected my feeling profane as well. Youji: "Read that as... lots of swearing."

Notes: Speaking of my own, Venus Press is releasing Sarah's Hawk this Wednesday. The excerpt is already up. Venus is a really awesome company. The next story of mine that they are releasing is a yaoi story, and they have another yaoi of mine planned for early next year too. So anyway, they're an awesome company.

www(dot)venuspress(dot)com

Three

Duo felt boneless in Heero's arms, but he was the most beautiful and precious hope Heero had ever had. From deep within him, an older self fought with the perfect solder created by Heero's childhood programmers, clinging to the hope that Duo represented being human again.

His older, truer self had skimmed the life and experiences of his soldier self and now the two selves had very different goals. Heero Yuy wanted to break the neck of the shivering man he held in his arms. Just the trust the man gave him made him a risk, the attachment and sweet sentiment his inner hidden self felt made the man in his arms a terrible liability. The boy under Heero Yuy's ruthless control wanted to hold his friend, comfort him, and find a way to sooth the pain and shock. The boy hiding under all of Heero Yuy's training and experiences wanted to hold onto Duo as if Duo were the last hope of ever being just himself again.

It was not the first conflict between the two systems of personality within Heero. The last had involved a little girl and a dog and cost him a month long re-training that had left scars in mind and body. Though it was that very training that was now causing a more complete split between Heero Yuy and the boy he'd once been. "It's alright, Duo," he whispered, "I wouldn't let anyone hurt you."

His fingers sought under the helmet for a release for the helmetn and when he found it, he threw the evil black thing across the room. Duo seemed to relax in his arms then. The most amazing flutter of joy blossomed in the boy hiding behind Heero Yuy as violet eyes opened and even crinkled up in a small smile. "Christ, Heero, what did you do?"

Heero bent to the boy's will, supplying medical knowledge and strong calm fingers. Quick pressure points pressed on Duo quieted the trembling in Duo's legs, eased the tension line between Duo's eyes. He simply wanted to know what to fix on Duo's body. The split between the boy and Heero soothed as Heero accepted the boy's need to help Duo as his new mission."Why were you screaming?"

Duo's expression fell in on itself after Heero's question, making Heero wan to chase after him, to hold Duo with him. Mission endangered warnings went off in Heero's head as Duo's eyes glazed over as he remembered what ever he'd been experiencing in the helmet. "Duo, don't leave me."

That plea brought a little light back to Duo's eyes, a little movement to his usually fidgeting self. "Heero," duo asked, voice full of question, "Heero, what's wrong?"

"I fear for you," Heero said, dead pan, normal Heero voice as if it were no more than information on which fuse had blown in a training run.

"I'm not dying yet," Duo complained, irritated by the fear coming from Heero. "That thing just gave me bad memories, made me feel like I was reliving stuff, but then you were there and it didn't have as much power over me."

"I'll kill anyone who hurt you," Heero said, resolutely, voice tinged with emotion uncommon to Heero.

Duo wasn't sure that he wasn't still dreaming, except that if he were dreaming such a sweet Heero, his own body wouldn't feel like such utter crap. He really wanted this moment with Heero, didn't want his own past coming back on him, very much didn't want the future he feared was being served up to them. "Don't kill anyone for me. I'm the fucking God of Death, not you."

Heero's eyes widened and he whispered in a very child like voice, "Are you really Shinigami? Did you come to take me?"

Duo worked his way around so he was on his knees, looking at Heero, eyes never leaving Heero's. There's just no gentle back of the cereal box read when the eyes of your best friend, of the man you have indulged in various fantasies about suddenly are looking at you with the kind of lost innocence of a little kid. It wasn't like Duo hadn't known enough fucked up people in his life, and he could even understand being divided inside. Sometimes it's the only way to deal with things that a person just couldn't face. He smiled at this new face of Heero's, wondering about the protest of pain around his own eyes, noting the pain to remember that he was likely going to have a pair of black eyes. "I would never hurt you. I will protect you with all that I am, but who are you?"

The word was said so softly that Duo only picked it up because lipreading is a very useful skill. He didn't repeat the name, just nodded. Heero Yuy couldn't have been his Heero's birth name anyway. "Don't be afraid. We're going to figure our way out of this. Heero and I always do."

The smile lifted the corners of Heero's mouth, genuine and full of faith, and truth be told, it scared the complete crap out of Duo. He might not want Heero to kill anyone who'd hurt him, but he was mulling over the idea of killing Heero's programmers. "Okay, Shinigami."

Duo smiled, but inside his new mantra was, 'Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.'

Gentle fingers touched Duo's face, skimming very likely along the edge of bruised skin. "The mean people will come and make me go away soon, but I always hide. I'll come back to see you."

"I'm pretty good at hiding too," Duo said. Yup. Have to kill Heero's programers.

Then suddenly there was a door and brand new bad people let themselves in. Heero was Heero again before Duo could even blink. The perfect soldier was on his feet almost before Duo even knew they had guests.

"Comply," the woman commanded, her voice harsh, clipped.

It hurt Duo's ears just to hear it. Something in it grated on his nerves. And when Heero dropped to his knees, fingers lacing over the top of his head. "I comply," he said in a mechanical voice, brainwashed, programmed, Duo's 'oh shit' manta became a full on stadium sized chorus.

"No!" Duo screamed voice deep and edged with a ragged animal sounding rage. "He does not comply!" Duo's fist hit the woman's jaw, staggering her back. "What did you fucking do to him?"

The pistol was in her hand before he knew it and the bullet through his shoulder even faster. Rage and fear had him in it's full on grip though and he staggered back, dropping even deeper into his Shinigami face. He felt himself pull upright like a puppet on a string barely feeling the new hole in his shoulder. He'd never been professionally programmed as Heero had been, but war herself had done the job on him and it was survive or die. Blood running down his bare chest, he jumped their captor again, both hands aiming for her throat.

She screamed, "Comply!"

And Duo never made it to her. Heero pinned him, pulling his body close, almost protectively, while still having both arms neatly pinned behind Duo's back. "I comply! Don't hurt him!"

"We wouldn't hurt your little pet, Heero. Not as long as you do everything we say."

"Heero!" Duo half screamed, half whined. "Don't do this! We can take her together! We can go down fighting if we have to, but don't do what she says! You don't have to!"

"Oh, but he does, Mr. Maxwell. We have been researching him for years, and his master's work. I know his triggers and I could make him do anything. This is why he's the most valuable project. You did know that a soldier was only valuable as long as he is obedient, didn't you. Do you realize how much people will pay to have other people neatly programmed and packaged?"

"You fucking idiot! How can you think about hurting people like that? Money's worth what? Money's not crap compared to..."

"To what Mr. Maxwell? To love and freedom and starvation and being a whore on the street? That's what he was, Heero dear. Your little friend here was a whore. Doesn't that just make you feel all warm and happy inside?"

"I wasn't!" Duo screamed, struggling against Heero's undefeatable arms. "I was raped! I wasn't a whore! You're a liar!"

"You ate because of what happened. You're a whore. I've seen your memories, little rat. Our system is built on a modification of the zero system. Only instead of letting the pilot see out, it lets the controller see into the 'pilot's' mind. I know what you think about Heero Yuy when no one's looking."

Duo's cheeks turned to exploding defenses red, embarrassment billowing out like the flames of destruction.

"Don't worry, Mr. Maxwell," she said, slender fingers tracing through the blood on his chest. "If Heero does as we ask, we'll let both you and he go. You can go start a little life some where. There wouldn't be any more war. We'll just sell victory to the highest bidder."

"I guess that makes you a whore too, then doesn't it?"

"I never said there was anything wrong with being a whore," she replied, giving a little more attention to his actual wound. "I like money. You're the one that felt you were too good to be what you are. Heero, you can remove a small little bullet, can't you?"

"I can comply," Heero said again, sounding very miserable.

Understanding crept up through the dungeons of Duo's mind. Heero was really in the body holding him pinned so gently. He just had to figure out how to also know the trigger words, or whatever the hell it was, and help Heero be free of them. Any system that could be made, could be broke and if Duo believed in anything it was the power of the human spirit. Heero was a survivor.

"Bring Mr. Maxwell to the guest room with me, Heero. And then you can tend his wound. Pick him up and don't let him hurt himself anymore on the way."

Duo didn't fight against Heero as he was swept up into strong arms. Their friendship was deeper than this damn programming. He would get through to Heero. He would.


	4. four

Duo's Rat: The Trap 4

By Nix Winter

Disclaimers: I don't own Gundam Wing. If I did own it, I wouldn't have nearly as much fun writing it.

And I am having fun writing it! So much more fun to write this than work on promotion for my others. Wicked me.

Notes: Anyway, I have to get to work here in a few minutes, so I'm going to post this, and hopefully have another part by lunch! I'm sorry this is short, but being able to post it was the most cheerful and hopeful thing today and means I might make it through another work day.

Visit me at my blog, ne www(dot)darkfedora(dot)com

I took the bullet out. The inside of Duo's shoulder is just like any other person's. Red and wet, and I know where all the parts are supposed to go. I could feel his heart beating when I touched him, and the heart monitor translated information to me, so that the beating of his heart felt like mine. I saved his life.

That was their first real mistake.

Maybe I'd always been there under the Heero that I had to be for them, for my captors. These new people who held us hostage, these were just small time players, trying to learn what my original trainers had done. In their reverse engineering efforts, they were undoing what my trainers had done. I hoped this was going to work in my favor. I feared what would happen if I failed. Hope and fear were not emotions that I had much familiarity with.

It was easier to hold his hand, to feel his pulse under my fingers where my other hand held his wrist. I don't even care if he doesn't like my company. It's just enough to be near him.

I love when he laughs and his eyes will roll. I love when he's plotting something and thinks no one is looking. Dark eyebrows will draw down and the mysteries of the universe will mix around in those violet eyes. Now that I remember, I have felt fear for him when he is in battle, when he is Shinigami. It's not that I ever thought anyone would cause him too much damage in that demon of a gundam of his, but that, I feared Duo would slip away under Shinigami as I have under Heero Yuy.

He's beautiful in battle though, graceful black and green death, too fast for normal men to fight back against. His lips tremble now and I reach out to touch them, to feel the living breath against my fingers, like a blessing. I have saved a life.

Somewhere in that moment, as dark eye lashes flutter, promising the opening of his eyes, making me so aware of the bruising around both his eyes, somewhere in that moment, I promise myself that I will become a doctor. I will heal, not kill. I will learn to laugh with him. I love his laughter so much.

When those eyes did open, I found another emotion. Joy.

"Who're you and where's Heero?" he groaned, voice hoarse.

"Are you in pain? I have a plan."

One eye closed, and then half his mouth listed in a smile, crooked daring, wickedly beautiful beyond anything I could imagine. "I'm down with a plan."


	5. fourb

Duo's Rat: The Trap 4

By Nix Winter

Disclaimers: I don't own Gundam Wing. If I did own it, I wouldn't have nearly as much fun writing it.

And I am having fun writing it! So much more fun to write this than work on promotion for my others. Wicked me.

Notes: Anyway, I have to get to work here in a few minutes, so I'm going to post this, and hopefully have another part by lunch! I'm sorry this is short, but being able to post it was the most cheerful and hopeful thing today and means I might make it through another work day.

Visit me at my blog, ne www(dot)darkfedora(dot)com Or you can come hang out and say 'hi' at the nixfics yahoo group grins

Four b

That was the stupidest idea Duo had ever heard. Ever. One eyebrow arched up, and he held his limp arm close to his body, wishing his stupid shoulder would quit reminding him to keep his temper. They stood by the door and the plan was so simple it hurt. At least on the surface.

"So, you can take on a whole base to get my ass out of a sling, survive self-destructing in Antarctica, set your own bones, and we can leave this crappy little room that stinks like bleeding me, but I have to tell you to do it?"

And they were being monitored; Duo was sure. It would only be a matter of time until their 'hosts' descended on them with whatever idiot plan they had. "Heero, man, I am so not in a good mood. I am going to kill those assholes for what they did to you. I am."

Duo had also never seen Heero Yuy crumble. Powerful shoulders arched like a stack of cards tipping, but before Duo could be sure of the tears in blue eyes, he had his good arm around Heero, holding him close, face nuzzling against Heero's neck and cheek. "Sorry, Heero, I'm sorry! I didn't mean it. I'll do anything you like. It's going to be okay. We always come out on top."

Gundam pilots have to be willing to die for their goals, and Duo was still, but his goal was different. He wasn't ready to admit romance or attraction, and he didn't have to face that he loved Heero. Duo had a long term habit of just going with what he felt and thinking about it later. "Damn, Heero, I'll even be quiet when you ask me too, okay?"

"I love you," Heero said in that soft secret voice of his. "I love you, Duo. I love your voice. Your voice has always made me remember that I was more than just a soldier. That's why it irritated me so much, and now, I want you to become my key. Not what they do, what they program me, but in the very root of my soul, I'm going to give you that key to my soul. Going forward, only your voice will hold the key to my programming. I trust you with the very soul of my being, with everything that I am. I trust you to protect my soul, and I can get us out of this station."

"Fuck me," Duo hissed, "That's a lot of fucking trust, Heero. I don't have anything to give back like that."

"You don't have to give anything back, just take good care of what I've given you. The new key is Duo no Kyo." The key was said in Japanese. "Say it now, please? And then they will no longer be able to control me."

"Duo no Kyo," Duo said, whispering it as if it were the most sacred of holy phrases. "I don't really understand all this programming and crap. Heero, just don't let me be an idiot, okay?"

Heero's smile was so shy as he pulled back from Duo a little, and it broke Duo's heart. It as a smile of innocence and a heart untouched by the war, by all the evils, so pure and trusting. "I trust you."

In the observation, room champagne poured. The lead doctor lifted a glass, triumphant. "Did I not tell you I could get him to do that? Now we really have him! Maxwell will be a piece of cake to break!"


	6. Five

Duo's Rat: The Trap 5

By Nix Winter, bard wannabe

Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing, but I am the only one responsible for this story.

Notes: Persons with true Disassociative Identity Disorder do sometimes truly have altered brain chemistry when in different 'alters'.

Warnings: This chapter will contain graphic depictions of torture. It mentions past sexual violations and some people get shot.

Five

It's hard to play chess when you can't see your opponent's moves. In this kind of chess both Heero and Duo were amateurs, just young men, growing up from being boy terrorists who thought everyone could have freedom, that justice was something that could be fought for. They were the future of Japan and America, loud independence and beautiful honor, and they fell in the blast of the same program triggering sleeping gas that had taken them down before as the door opened.

Heero dropped first, hitting his knees as some lingering programming took over his body. Duo snarled, breath held as he went down to his knees, head already spinning from the gas. His good hand took hold of Heero's hair, rough and urgent, pulling Heero's head up so they were looking each other in the eyes. Duo felt himself sway, felt his lips go numb. "Heero! You are free. You do not have to do what they say!"

There was such a blank look in Heero's eyes though, as if the body were simply a shell, nothing there, and Duo wanted to scream, wanted his gundam, wanted to chop the station into a million little bits with his scythe! He wanted to reach out and into Heero and pull Heero's hidden soul out, hide it in his own body. His fingers slipped slowly from Heero's hair, such soft hair, to hit limply on Heero's shoulder, then slide down until they were hanging by his side.

The woman who'd shot Duo was there then, and Heero felt surprise that he hadn't heard her coming over the ringing in his ears. She grabbed hold of Duo's braid, holding him upright, forcing his head to the side, as she held up a hypo-spray. "Identify, Heero."

"Likely Hydro-mesanine."

"Very good. Your mind does still work. How long do you think it will be before he says anything we wish him to?"

"Don't hurt him. I will do anything you require."

Duo's eyes rolled back in his head as she caressed the business end of the spray down his exposed throat, over his bare shoulder. "But, Dear, you'd only do it as long as we held him hostage. As soon as you could, you'd kill me and escape. Our way is safer. If you want to prove your loyalty, tell him to comply with us, before the Mesanine does too much damage to his primitive little brain."

"If you inject him with that," Heero said, dead serious, already recovering from the triggering gas, even if Duo was not. "I will kill you."

"That's exactly why I have to do it. This is all your fault, Heero, because you are a bad boy."

She pressed the tip to Duo's wounded shoulder and hit the button. Innocent looking clear fluid shot into Duo's body and his good hand pawed weakly at the spray. The shaking had already set in by the time she pulled it back and pushed him towards Heero.

"If you want the antidote, pick him up and bring him to the lab. You can not beat us, Heero. You should accept that you are what you are, a smart dog that needs a keeper. You are a tool, a very valuable tool, and nothing more. His life has value only in that he is your collar. Don't forget that. His voice will give us such a deep control of you and soon we will know exactly how you were made. Compared to you, gundams are old, antiquated weapons."

She turned and strode away. Heero pulled Duo close, soothing his back, comforting Duo's limp form as if the movements could comfort them both. "I will get the antidote, Duo. Don't worry. I will take care of you."

Duo snuggled close to Heero as Heero stood, holding Duo in his arms.

The drug made his brain feel like a kaleidoscope, images and thoughts spinning with bright colors and funny shapes, nothing clear at all, except the warmth of Heero's body, and the knowledge that his voice was Heero's 'key'.

There were splits in Duo as much as there were splits in Heero and deep within him, under the drugs, Shinigami rose. Brain chemistry shifted, resisted the pull of the drug, and failed. Duo the rat, the ultimate survivor, Duo's deepest self rose instead, and rode the drug like he'd ridden all the violence and loss. He had the key that made Heero free, and no drug would ever pull it from him.

Four and a half hours later, every monitoring device their captors had, even with the drug mapping his mind out for them, showing them exactly which parts of the brain to stimulate, they had yet to get him to utter a single word.

Duo stood in a cylindrical frame of gundanium, his head held in a leather harness, the modified zero helmet again on his head, so all Heero could see was Duo's pale lips.

The hours had passed painfully slowly for Heero, as their captors had tried various methods for forcing Duo to speak, to say what they wished him to say. They wished for Duo to command Heero to transfer the 'key' from him to their lead doctor. Heero found it gratifying that her lips were pale too, her face looking frightened as her own people watched her. They were a pack of hyenas.

Duo would break, eventually, and Heero know he would die when that happened. Heero watched everything just a little distant from the events. Their techniques were flawless. They had the best technology, had ways to stimulate Duo's brain in ways that could plunge the man back into his own memories so vividly that Duo would have felt they were real. Those same memories were displayed on a wide screen for the researchers.

Heero gathered that what they really wanted was for his own mind to become open to this kind of rape. And then they would literally know how to create more monsters like himself. Heero hated himself more each time he watched a tiny Duo try to save a bleeding Sister Helen. He had caused destruction like that. He had caused people like Duo to cry.

Heero had one more self destruct button left though, and he locked his Kyo self away within himself. Tears were so like rain. He'd always hated rain. Kyo did not understand why they stood there and watched! Kyo wanted to fight and save Duo, even if Duo had not commanded it. Kyo wanted to remember a time before there were triggers and rules and programming. Heero knew they could not. Heero simply had one final weapon. When Duo betrayed them, and he would, Heero knew he would, because no one could sustain resistance against such programming indefinitely, then Heero would destroy the physical mind. These monsters would not be creating more monsters such as himself.

As the memory of Duo's rape flowed over the screen, remembered screams echoing through the sound system, even though Duo in the present said nothing, not even a whimper, that was when Heero broke. "Stop! Let me talk to him, please."

The power shifted again in the room and their blackwidow of a captor smiled, putting her minons back into place as if that was what she'd planned all along. "If you think it will help, Heero dear."

"It will help. Give him the antidote, remove the helmet. Let me talk to him. And then, when you have me. You will free him, safely."

"Of course, dear," she said, cloying, sweet, some kind of motherly figure. "We'll erase his memories, Heero. He'll have a second chance. No more war, no more pain. All of these dark memories will go away. We'll even see that he can go to school, have a nice home. You would want that for him, wouldn't you? A chance to be normal?"

"Yes," Heero said, watching carefully as her assistants removed the helmet, dosed a shaking Duo with the antidote. She was a liar. Someone of Duo's mass could not withstand the brain damage caused by the drug they'd used. Heero thought he could take them both out, just break Duo's neck so quickly, then cause several aneurisms in his own brain. They'd both die. He wondered, faintly, like a faint fairy hope, if they'd be free of their bodies then, free of war, able to be together and free of pain, free of grief. Heero ran how he'd do it in his mind, how to slide his hands along Duo's slender, already bruised throat, make it a caress, expressing all love he felt, then fast, so quick, so that Duo would never feel anything. "Let me talk to him. Let me touch him, so it will draw him back to himself. When he speaks, I will transfer the key to you. And then you will let him free. I trust you." Heero could lie so well sometimes.

"Of course, Heero dear," she said, waving her team back. "Of course, if you try to free him from the restraints, I'll have him shot. There is a sniper on the second level of the mezzanine."

"Understood," Heero said. He had no intention of freeing Duo's body.

The helmet was lifted as Heero stepped into the frame with Duo. The bruising was so much worse now, leaving both of Duo's eyes swollen nearly shut, but those eyes watched Heero with a wild animal's skittishness. So tenderly, Heero caressed Heero's cheek, and for a moment, there could have been so much love, and passion between them, all the love of Heero's life condensed into this one moment because he knew there wouldn't be another coming after. In that moment, eyes locked with Duo's, Heero willing gave up his virginity, gave up all his reservations, and lived a whole life as Duo's mate. "It's alright, Duo. I love you and I understand. I don't want you to resist anymore. Let them have what they want. I can't watch you suffer any more."

Of all the responses that Duo could have given, the one he gave would have made Duo's top 10 never-going-to-happen list. Duo stuck his tongue out, and smiled. Heero blinked, not able to translate the gesture into meaning just then.

Duo's fingers flexed, his wrist turning in the leather restraint and Heero reached to lace his fingers through Duo's. He could break Duo's slender neck with one hand, so it was okay to hold Duo's hand. The betrayal would come in a moment, then their deaths. Heero could face the end of their lives, there, together with Duo, so long as Duo didn't suffer anymore.

All that came was silence.

"Duo?" Heero said, moving closer so his breath moved against Duo's cheek, "Just say the key and we'll both be free. No more pain, no more fear, no more war. Just say the key."

Duo's lips touched Heero's cheek, no sound, not even a hard breath, just a silent kiss, and then Heero knew. Duo would not speak the key. Their captors could shred them slowly, but Duo would never betray him, never speak the key, no matter what they made him relive, or how many times, or what they did to his body. Duo was Shinigami too, and understood layers, understood how to hide, and he would hold Heero's trust so dearly. Heero was scrambling for a new plan, when the lead doctor sensed something must have gone seriously wrong.

He felt her movement before the sound of her footstep hit him, and he moved, springing up towards the mezzanine, where his mind had already noticed the sniper. Heero Yuy was programmed to be the perfect soldier and he was. His lead enemy screamed at him and he stayed visible for her, drawing her attention away from Duo, until he found the sniper only a moment later. The man fired, and Heero's mind assessed and laid in information about how the man held his gun, finger pressure and placement. He was on the man and they both went down. Only Heero came back up, riffle in hand, fingers placed exactly as his opponent had, trying for the same pressure, and then the good doctor's assistants began to fall.

She screamed, ran towards Duo and Heero laid down fire between them, a straight line that brought her up sharp. Snarling, she turned towards him, hands held up. The man she'd had most of the tension with was screaming at her, that this was all her fault, that she was an arrogant bitch and that he was going to kill her. None of them probably thought he'd get the chance. "Remove the restraints from Duo," Heero said, without emotion, rifle 's red sight trained on her forehead.

Groans and cursing were coming from the three or four assistants that he'd shot, and she hesitated. He put a bullet through her hand. Blood splattered, little shards of white, and she screamed.

Her second in command moved towards Duo. "I'm removing the restraints. There is a shuttle fully fueled in the third hanger. Don't take the one in bay two. It has a problem with the engine."

"What do you want," Heero asked, red dot back on the lead doctor's forehead.

"I want you not to kill us," the man said, holding Duo on his feet as he moved him out of the restraint frame. "Just don't kill us."

"Do not make aggressive moves towards Duo or me and I will let you live," Heero said. He slung the rifle over his shoulder by the strap and went over the railing, dropping back to the ground in a ready crouch. He was moving all on his own too, no mission from someone else driving him, only his own will, just as Duo had told him, to act as he saw fit. None of their attackers were dead yet. He didn't have to kill, if he didn't want to, but he would if they hurt Duo even the slightest bit more. "Do not attempt to program children, or we will come back and kill you."

"You're just a god damn tool! What do you think you're going to do? Go and live some normal life yourself, Heero," she spat at him, holding her bleeding, ruined hand to her chest. "You'll kill again, out there, without someone to control you. You don't want that, do you? To be a danger to everyone?"

"I wouldn't be. The person who holds my key is a good person," Heero said, slipping an arm around Duo's waist and pulling him close.

As soon as they were on the shuttle, Heero reconfigured the communications and sent a call to have them picked up. Heero's own controls were not who he called though. He called Duo's Sweeper friends.

As soon as he was sure they were safely away, he went back to where he'd strapped Duo in and found him awake.

"Duo? Are you in pain? I don't believe they're following us or tracking us."

Duo looked up, a small smile lifting one side of his mouth. His lips were dry and he licked them, eyeing the cabinet where medical supplies and emergency water and food.

Heero opened it, pulled out a water and a nutripack. "Hungry? Thirsty?"

Duo reached for the water like it was the only Christmas present ever, biting the seal off and sucking it dry.

"Duo, what is your status?" Heero asked, reaching for another water pouch, which Duo took just as quickly.

When the second water pouch was drained flat, Duo leaned back and gave Heero a small twitch of his smile. The sounds of the shuttles engines were too loud to Heero, too overwhelming. As they sat there in the silence, Heero crouching before where Duo sat, Heero thought he could hear space laughing at him. He'd given his key to someone who would give up anything to keep it safe. "Say something Duo, please."

Duo's mouth opened, closed slightly, hung open, then he was holding the side of his head, grimacing.

"Don't Duo, just let it fade a little," Heero said, a hand on Duo's knee. "Your voice will come back soon."

End of The Trap

Coming soon… Plates


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